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THE NNT™ NEWS: Volume I, Edition 1.
Romans Found with Weapons of Mass Destruction.
In a routine security spot-check,
Arab League Weapons Inspectors found evidence, in the ancient
city of Herculaneum, that the Romans were at one stage producing
Weapons of Mass Destruction. Numerous Silos were found, along
with a set of lead-lined amphorae used to carry weapons
grade Plutonium. A full team of Inspectors, led by Inspector
Hassan Gagyet, has been deployed by Arab League Secretary-General
Dr. Ahmed Maguid. However, the Iraqi Defence Minister, Lt.-Gen.
Hashim Tai, claimed that this was the "smoking man"
they had been looking for, and he immediately deployed a 100'000-strong
force to Crete in preparation.
In this situation, speculation is inevitable. It has been
suggested that this possible nuclear capability was responsible
for the extreme dictatorial empire building of the Romans. It is
already known that a number of small Mediterranean Islands have
been wiped off the map, but it was previously thought to be down
to a freak fishing accident. This now looks less likely.
Other speculation concerns another pre-emptive strike by the
Iraqis. Throughout history, the Romans have clashed with the
Iraqis, also previously known as Persians, Byzantines or
Mesopotamians. The Iraqi deployment is therefore no surprise. War
experts seem unsure as to how the opposing forces would fare
against one another.
An Iraqi tank shell could probably break a tortoise-shell
formation, but Roman shields and armour is likely to be above the
standard of the Iraqi's. Bullets would be repelled, and flak-jackets
would be no use against a razor-sharp gladius. Roman
spears would also probably be impervious to Iraqi missile defence
radars.
But for either of these great superpowers, a Third Great War
would be utterly disasterous. Stephen Gardner, NNT News,
Herculaneum.