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THE NNT™ NEWS: Volume I, Edition 2.
Tragedy Strikes on the London Underground.
Tragedy struck
the London Underground this morning when the 8:59 Picadilly Line
service to Seven Sisters unforeseeably arrived on time, and
proceeded to trundle along the rest of its route without
interruption.
The country has been left reeling from the shock as the news
travelled nationwide of the worst Underground accident in living
memory. Preliminary reports have predicted a sudden convenience
to around 3000 people.
London Underground chiefs have described the accident as a "horrible,
unforgiveable breach of inconvenience. Services may never recover."
Servicemen have promised to try and restore services to their
former, sporadic level by the rush-hour.
At 10:00 this morning, the Prime Minster, Tony bin-Rilistupyhd
addressed the nation in his dressing-gown, saying:
"Britain needs to help itself get back on its feet after this tragic but ruthless atrocity. It may seem quintessentially accidental, but we cannot, at this stage, rule out the work of terrorists; nor can we say that they won't strike again."
No group has yet come forward to claim responsibilty for the convenience, but PRAT (People for Railways and Taxis), a splinter of the RMT, is thought to be irresponsible. Meanwhile, the RMT themselves have scheduled an immediate walkout over unnecessary safety fears, and have issued a list of 31 unreasonable demands. Hugo Fagandini, NNT News, Under-Londonground.